Field-Testing the New iPod Vibe
“You don’t have to admit you wanna play.
Just let me rock you till the break of day.”
‒Justin Timberlake, or is it my new iPod sex toy singing to me? I get confused
Remember the Super Bowl performance that ended with the J.T. sexy-threat-or-is-it-a-promise “I’m gonna have you naked by the end of this song,” and a suddenly topless Janet Jackson on national TV? Yeah, we thought you did. It was an unforgettable reminder of the way music and sexuality are intertwined, and it’s that hot throbbing love of the beat we’re after at the nightclubs, on the dance floor, and back in bed with the sex music playing. Well, I just got the chance to try out a whole new twist on the concept… and I think it's sure to have you cumming in your panties.
Everybody knows, the best gadgets of the year come out around the holidays. So last month, when one of the AdultFriendFinder story editors told me that he had a shiny new iPod sex-toy attachment coming in the mail, I begged to be the lucky girl to give it a test drive. I have professional experience in the sex-toy industry, and I've used a lot of consumer electronics gadgets, so I felt eminently qualified to rate the product. (Plus, just looking at it made me randy).
Like most citizens of the digital revolution, I love my iPod. I mean really love it, with a passion and depth of feeling that rivals some of my better relationships. But sexy? Well, I never thought of my iPod that way. Of course it has those smooth, clean lines, that shapely body, that overall fab aesthetic… in a consumer-electronics kind of way. And the OhMiBod peeps were paying attention. Their toy is sleek. Sophisticated. White and silver. Its curves are womanly and modern and pretty and look just right plugged into an iPod (or any MP3 player, actually).
And yet, always a fan of "two heads are better than one," I wanted a partner to operate the OhMiBod so I could lie back and experience all the toy had to offer. So I turned to my stable of willing males. (My love hunks are diverse in appearance and personality, but they are invariably open-minded and willing to help when it comes to my career.) This time around, Paolo answered the call. Said he’d be right down to operate the vibe. Brought a bottle of wine and an iPod full of his own tunes. (Grazie, Paolo!)
Now, when it comes to vibes, I’m not gonna lie: I need strong stimulation, and I need my clit to take a direct hit. My ultimate toy is a Hitachi Magic Wand. It runs on wall current, which is really nice and strong -- but it does keep me tethered to the nearest outlet. The OhMiBod, on the other hand, runs free and easy on just 2 AA batteries. And it still managed to please this tough customer! Read on…
At first, Paolo and I tried to share the headphones while we tested the toy, using one ear-bud each. We quickly discovered that I thrashed my head around too much for this to be feasible. "I need to HEAR it," I begged in my sexiest pout, and so Paolo donated his earbud to the cause. After that, all hell broke loose (in the best possible way). Unable to hear my own moans of passion, I went wild. Just ask Paolo: "It sounded like a porn movie was being filmed in here," he testified. "I wondered what your neighbors must be thinking was happening to you."
(Oops.)
It was incredible to have the music pulsating in my ears but also throbbing inside of me. When Paolo lubed up the OhMiBod and started to slide it in and out with the music going, I experienced near sensory overload from the pleasure. With the beat pulsing inside my ears and throbbing inside my cunt, I felt "at one" with the music in a way I'd only heard rave-kids on party drugs talk about. This was that feeling, but sober… and totally sexy.
In fact, this would be the ideal toy to take to a dance, rave, club or party. The garter accessory (shown at right), straps the iPod-plus-toy discreetly to your thigh so you can wear it underneath your favorite clothes. There's also a nice pink Softskin penile sleeve that will get your motor running if you like your phalluses "realistic" as opposed to "futuristic." Both are good; choose the one that makes you drool.
Innovation
The next week, Paolo and I got together again. He'd spent $5 at Radio Shack buying a T-shaped splitter, which enabled us to each have our own set of headphones. This simple hack made the experience a LOT better for us both. We experimented with different kinds of music: funk, rock, and Beatles were great… singer/songwriter and foreign language lessons did NOT make the cut. Confession: In the end, it was Gwen Stefani who sent me screaming over the edge.
If you're interested in the whole sex-DJ aspect, check out the OhMiBod website. You'll find a whole community of DJs who have been making and sharing tracks to get off to on the OhMiBod website. Music lovers, unite! Although I adored the beats I got off to, I can't wait to try all kinds of pre-tested, orgasm-approved playlists that are sure to rock this sexy body!
-- This is Diana Dillinger, signing off with flushed cheeks from what is certainly the SEXIEST job in the whole world.
(If you go to their site, check out the video of "girl on the street" reactions!)